Coffee and Forgiveness
By Diana, Mexico
After a three-hour delay in my flight’s departure caused by fog in a cold, northern city, I settled wearily into my seat. I thought about how good it would feel to get back to home and loved ones.
My thoughts were interrupted. “Do you mind if I take one of the seats here?” a friendly, polite voice asked in well-pronounced English.
“Sure, no problem. Just let me move these things out of the way,” I answered without looking up, struggling to squeeze my bag and thick jacket into the seat with me. I turned to see a man in his late 20s with a very charming smile, waiting patiently in the aisle. As he moved past me, took his seat, and arranged his own belongings, we exchanged small talk and introductions.
His name was Robert, and he was actually working for the airline, traveling this route to inspect the service. Half an hour later, Robert was showing me photos on his laptop computer of his wife and their adorable two-month-old son, whereupon I took out my own photo album and told him all about my husband, children, and grandchildren. It soon seemed like we had known each other a long time.
Jesus, please make a way for me to be a blessing to Robert in the short time we will sit together here, I silently prayed during a momentary lull in the conversation, when the flight attendants brought us a meal.
As I pushed my fluffy jacket further down in my lap in order to get the tray table down, our conversation continued. I asked Robert whether he enjoyed his work, then about other aspects of his life. He asked me similar questions, and I told him how as a Christian, I found the strength and answers for the many challenges I face each day by reading the Word of God and communicating with Jesus through prayer.
Robert answered that he loosely followed a Buddhist philosophy, and believed that it was important to do his best to be good to others.
Then, after another short pause as the flight attendant served us coffee, he said: “I try to be good to everyone, but, you know, I have a very deep problem that I cannot solve, no matter how I try.”
He went on to tell me of a very deep hurt he and his family had suffered. He confessed that he felt great hatred toward the ones who had done this-people who had never acknowledged their wrongdoing to him or his family, much less attempted to make restitution. “If these people would at least apologize, I would forgive, but I will not until they do. This is impossible for me.”
“Have you tried to forgive them, Robert? ” I asked.
“It is just impossible for me,” he repeated, shaking his head and looking down.
“Then this is the kind of forgiveness that God specializes in, and He can help you to do-because with Him, nothing is impossible!” I reassured him.
Our discussion of the matter continued a while. I shared my own experiences along the lines of dealing with bitterness and resentment over past hurts or setbacks for which I had felt others were to blame. I put in simple words for Robert the teachings of Jesus regarding loving even our enemies. “Jesus even forgave those who crucified Him,” I said.
“Jesus brought a miraculous transformation in my life when I received Him into my heart.” I went on to explain how He had helped me not only to forgive, but even to leave the hurt and anger behind and go on to love those who had wronged me. I admitted to Robert that this was nothing short of a miracle of God, and assured him once again that Jesus could do the same for him.
Robert, however, came back to his beginning argument. “They don’t even admit that they did anything wrong! This makes me so angry inside! I relive the pain every time I think about it.”
“Robert,” I said, “I think you can see that the bitterness you hold inside is hurting you more than anyone. You are allowing someone else’s actions to control the way you feel and think, but you can be set free from those negative emotions.
“Besides, did you ever stop to think that possibly these people don’t apologize or admit they did wrong because they themselves are ignorant of the matter? It is very likely that their pride keeps them from understanding that they behaved so badly, and therefore need to make amends.”
“I don’t know,” Robert began. At that very instant, a young woman passed by me in the aisle, swinging her purse behind her. It knocked my cup of coffee right into my lap, over my jacket, and down the legs of my jeans. After grabbing as many tissues and napkins as I could find, I mopped up what I could of the spill and resigned myself to the fact that the rest of the mess would remain until I got home.
Only then did I glance down the aisle at the girl responsible for the mishap, and saw her waiting outside the toilet, totally oblivious to the minor catastrophe she had caused in seat 25C.
I turned to Robert, who had caught each detail as well, and I said, “You know, that girl didn’t see what she did, so I guess I can’t expect an apology. Now I have the choice to let this incident ruin the rest of my trip, or just go on with life and not let it dominate my thoughts and emotions. I choose to let God help me, even with this relatively small matter. It’s not too much for Him to help me be happy, if I give Him a chance by asking!”
Robert looked toward the ceiling, nodded his head, and rather sheepishly said, “That is quite a fitting illustration!”
Shortly afterward, our plane reached its destination, and Robert promised that he would give our conversation a good deal of thought.
The happy ending of this story is that Robert visited me a few days later, and prayed and accepted Jesus as his Savior. Now he has the gift of Jesus’ love in his life, which gives him more mercy and understanding for others. And not only that, but Robert has the knowledge that he himself has been forgiven for his wrongdoings, including his lack of forgiveness toward those who had wronged him in the past.
For Robert, the road to total freedom from bitterness began with one step-that first step of simply receiving Jesus into his heart, and asking Him for the love, wisdom, and power to forgive. The wonderful truth is that Jesus offers the same to anyone who will simply ask.